Toilet Paper Alternatives

Ok so you go to do your business in the woods but “Oh, NO!!!” you forgot toilet paper. Here is a list of substitutes you can find on your way to your future cat hole.

DSM-education_poo TP

  • Stick: peel the bark off and make a mental picture of sharp stubs
  • Leaves: try for sturdy, broad surface area of course. Waxy leaves like rhododendron can have a tendency to “smear”.  If you have to go, go conifer for god’s sake
  • Snow: Contours to your bum and melts away. Nice wake-me-up in the morning too. The “Backcountry Bidet”
  • Stone: if you pull it from a river don’t throw it back
  • Sock: not worth it man, despite the soft yet firm touch of your DarnToughs
  • Flowers: Brittle but you will feel pretty

How to Poop in the Woods

 

 

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